[how am i supposed to bring in the new year in modesto?] i searched high and low for a chinese restaurant - of course i'm not expecting much. cheap chinese food it is. i looked in the yellow pages, and the only decent one with a full menu is closed on tuesday's. so i search online -- dinesite.com, ah yes, i can trust them. i randomly called one up and YES - they have seafood noodles. the melding of fish and noodles will b ring me great luck and prosperity in the new year.

i mapped this place out -- not surprisingly, it is in the middle of nowhere, just like modesto is. it takes me a good 25 mins to find it since modesto does not believe in lights, and i am trudging along at 30 mph hoping that i won't miss it. i drive along coffee street (it's at 1501 coffee street), and i see only one asian-y looking restasurant: FIRST ROYAL CHINA. okay, that's not it.. so i keep going.. and i reach the next block, which is the 1700s. that's not right. i make a U and decide to check out the FIRST ROYAL CHINA. naturally, it was the one i was looking for. the owner changed its name from FIRST MANDARIN to FIRST ROYAL CHINA. that explains that.

so i thought it'd be an in and out job, but the owner thought i had gotten lost and cancelled my order. so i wait for my seafood noodles and pot stickers. she speaks cantonese, a dialect my dad missed out teaching me on, so there will be no asian bonding. i walk around the restaurant, and at least there is an aquarium full of fish. i stare at that for a little while.

about 10 minutes later, the cook walks out with three styrofoam boxes. yay, my food! so excited, i make my way back to the hotel in half the time it took me to get there.
i zip out of my work clothes, into my comfy PJs and sit myself squarely at my desk for a good meal. computer to my right, noodles to my left, bottle of Arrowhead straight ahead (go figure that a glass of pinot grigio will also take room service 30 minutes to deliver)

i unwrap my chopsticks and say a quick little "yay to chinese new year prayer" to myself, and chow down on my seafood chow mein. after my first bite, i encounter the first problem to my new year's eve meal - a nice curly hair with a little white speck at the end. just great. i combed the noodles a little more to see if there were any other traces and decided to eat from the bottom instead of the top. besides, the noodles down below are warmer.

i take a couple more bites, and lo and behold, the second problem with my meal. a thin metal strip. i dropped it on the wooden table and it made a meek *klang*, so i'm pretttty sure it's not mushroom or something.

so i'm giving up. my chopsticks are now stuck into my noodles and i'm going to attempt to pick out the pieces of celery with my fork. it was a short meal for a very hopeful long life.

do potstickers have any symbolism in chinese? =T does this not bode well for di's rooster year? i am alone, in the armpit of california, with pube-infested, metal-sprinkled noodles, and no oranges.


gong xi fa cai, and may the rest of you roosters have better luck than i.