[i don't mean to sound morbid] but the Father told the most compelling story about death in church today. as many of you know, today is ash wednesday. no one really knows how to describe what its significance is, but it all kind of revolves around the dramatic saying that goes something like from dust we came and to dust we shall return . basically, it means it's the start of Lent -- so Happy Lent y'all! =) heehee. anyhoo -- it was so weird because even though it's the start of Lent, and i really should know by now what it is i want to do *for* Lent.. i still haven't got it figured out. last year, i decided to donate to a bum every day -- instead of giving up something, i decided to do something proactively that would somehow make the world a better place. this year though, i'm truly stumped. i'm all for self-improvement and i know i try my bestest to be a better person on a daily basis.. but.. you need something a little more than that for Lent.

so the Father told this story after the reading. not only did i like the message behind it, but the story helped me figure out a project for Lent! he was describing how an obituary was usually written. so it goes.. [full name] died today on [insert date here] of [insert cause here] in [insert place of residence here]. he or she is survived by [who will speak of you when you've passed] and is remembered for [insert thing you're remembered for here]. now.. the thing he pointed was that clearly, none of us know right now what goes in those brackets (apart from our full name of course, but as a girl, that might even change for me! =O ] he asked questions like.. when would you want to die? (not that any day would be good).. what do you think you would die of? where do you think you will be? and basically, a lot of questions about the future that he urged us to ponder about.. i guess, to help us embrace where and what we are now. the most significant thing to me though was that he asked, who will you be survived by? family? friends? and.. what will you be remembered for. now *that* really got to me. what will i be remembered for? to be honest, i can't really think of anything wonderful that i'd be remembered for -- i'm not saying that my life is empty and i conduct myself in a meaningless manner, but.. there isn't one large, overarching thing that i can say is truly di. can you? =T this disheartened me a little. the Father then went on to say that wouldn't that make a great Lent project -- discovering or enhancing something about your life that you could potentially be remembered for. so guess what? that's my project =D it may feel a little vague and intangible, and no way am i striving to be remembered as the person who could eat the most marshmellows in one sitting, but i'm looking for something worldly. =) and in order to find that -- i'll hafta try out all sorts of things. but yah -- it's so odd because i went into church without a project.. still searching for one.. and uncannily enough, church gave me the answer =D quite funny and unexpected.

so yeah, i truly don't mean to sound morbid -- but they're just some interesting thoughts that really invigorated me =)

happy Lent everyone.